THREE WAYS TO IMPROVE SELF-ESTEEM

Self-esteem is the disposition of considering one’s self as confident in one’s competences and how worthy of happiness and respects you think you are. So many of us struggle with low self-esteem. Self-esteem builds confidence and allows you to be who you are and helps you grow into your truest self. So if it is low you already see where we could have some problems. We have to constantly work on improving our self-esteem and increase our confidence and feelings of self-worth. I am going to share with you three tips that help me on my journey to development and improvement of my own self-esteem.

My Story

I have struggled with low self-esteem and the feeling of inadequacy for most of my childhood and teenage year. I was always made fun of how skinny I was. Where I’m from to be thick or fat is “the thing”, it’s some kind of indicator that you are thriving or in good health, I guess (the illusion of it all). I remember one year my mom offered to pay me if I ate enough and gained more weight. I also remember someone telling me that drinking a lot of water will help you gain weight. Oh! No asking if I went in on the water. (Lol) Cup after cup and boy did I pee (omg) I peed, and peed, and then pee some more. So the water didn’t help and neither did stuffing my face.

When it was not how skinny I was, it was how tall and skinny I was. “Ou yuh suh long?” or “A whe yuh a grow tall ago?” (Jamaican patois) “How are you so tall?” “How much taller are going to grow to?” (English) How on earth I was supposed to have the answers to those questions? I don’t know. Fortunately or unfortunately I had no control over my own height. In my teenage years, I would not wear shorts or anything that expose my thighs because I thought I had too many dark spots and scars (I live for shorts or a crop top now by the way).

Every now and then I would be paid a compliment on how pretty I was and I wouldn’t even know how to accept it. It was almost like every time I got paid a compliment memories of people saying negative things about me would counteract it. It was like, how can I be pretty but have a big head and big eyes? I could write for days about growing up and being insecure about myself and having low self-esteem. But I am going to share these three very important tips that helped me and recommend to help you overcome low self-esteem. Just reading these tips alone won’t help you boost your self-esteem. You have to actually apply them in real life to see results.

 

Stop Comparing

There are seven billion plus people in the world when last I googled. That is Sven billion plus different individuals. Now two, three or more of us are the same. Many of us may share similar qualities and features, yes but, still, very different ones which make us the unique individuals we are. Have you ever heard the phrase “one in a million”? Well, just know that you are one in seven billion plus people. You need to understand and know that we are all different. Not better than nor worse than, just different. The fact that we are different explains why she/he can do “that” and you cannot or why you can to “this” and he/she cannot. As soon as you start understanding this you will see that comparisons between you and others are pointless. Constantly comparing yourself to others usually result in negative thinking. You thinking they have things you don’t which in turn is distracting you from the things you are already blessed with and yet to tap into. So just halt the comparisons once and for all. If someone compares you to someone else stop them in their tracks too.

Positive Thinking 

Be positive in your thoughts about yourself. Constantly harboring negative thought about yourself is just going lower the already low self-esteem. Here is what you can do, Make a list of things you love about yourself and your strengths. Start focusing on your positives, your strengths, and fortune that you already have. Start to improve them and build on them. One way to do this is through the use of affirmations. Affirmations are positive assertions that something is true. They are used by many to guide their visualized path to success. Another thing is practice appreciating yourself and, the unique qualities that make you who you are. In Jamaica, we have a saying “practice makes perfect.” So be aware of your thoughts and consistent with positive thinking about yourself. Be your own cheer-leading team.

Accept Compliments

One way to identify low self-esteem is when one has a hard time or refuse accepting compliments. You spent hours beating that face, only to be paid a compliment on how nicely done your makeup is. Only to respond by saying “oh it’s nothing”, “mmm not a big deal” or “you really think so?” and whatever other ways we usually use disregard compliments. Nooo that’s not a good. By not accepting compliments you are telling people and yourself subconsciously that you do not value yourself enough or find you worthy of any form of praise. Rejecting compliments can be disrespectful to the person that paid the compliment as well. Stop downplaying yourself and accept the compliment. A pleasant thank you is good and a smile is a cherry on top.

I am wearing this vintage black and white, floral print, pleated maxi dress I grab in a vintage thrift haul. I just added a skinny black belt to accentuate my waist. I went for a pair of flat, white sneakers because they were comfy and gave some character to the look. You know I love my hoop earrings (they are almost always in the mix) and I wore a black and gold choker to blend the look whilst not being too match. Them my stamen arm piece which really did it for me in terms of completing the look.

Hope you guys enjoyed the look and were inspired by both the look and tips. I hope you find these tips helpful in starting your self-esteem improvement journey. Thanks for reading, see you next post.